


The Odd Couple

by DoreyG



Category: Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Neighbours, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Community: trope_bingo, F/M, Gen, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Murder, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, The Virtues of Mulching, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 15:04:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3294815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoreyG/pseuds/DoreyG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ra’s likes to think himself a tolerant man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Odd Couple

**Author's Note:**

  * For [storiesfortravellers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/gifts).



> Written for the "AU: Neighbours" square on my Trope_Bingo card. Also written for Daria234 on LJ, who prompted "Ra'as al Ghul and Joker are Odd-Couple style roommates who bicker over everything", because that idea was so hilarious that I laughed for about half an hour when it was suggested.
> 
> ONE MORE FIC TO BINGO!

Ra’s likes to think himself a tolerant man.

Broadly. Generally. Sometimes. He’s _mellowed_ since his youth, anyway, when he proudly joined every environmentally minded group going. Greenpeace, check. PETA, check. That unfortunately ill-fated collection of individuals who dedicated themselves to bringing down the entirety of Western civilisation, _check_ …

(He has fond memories of that one summer, where they went to London and let _loose_ for several hazy months. Good times – good, only slightly murderous, times.) 

But he’s _different_ now, _better_ now. He’s calm, he’s relaxed, he’s _chill_ as he’s heard the young scamps that frequent the corridors of his apartment building say. He can actually _tolerate_ people now, even if they do have completely different (wrong) views to him! He’s calm, he’s relaxed, he’s happy and he’s the most open man in the building! Just ask _anybody_.

Besides Jack.

Because he _can’t_ , no matter how hard he tries, tolerate _Jack_.

Jack. _Jack_ , his new next door neighbour. The man moved in less than a month ago, when that nice Mr Tetch went a little insane and had to be taken away in the middle of the night screaming about rabbits, and in that time he’s inspired hatred to a level rarely felt before. Drawn ire that has rarely been so very intense. Been so deeply and utterly terrible in _every single way_ that-

Well.

_Well_.

He likes people, generally. He _doesn’t_ like Jack.

The man seems to have no concept of economics.

None, at _all_. He’s only been inflicting his presence upon the poor denizens of the building for a month, so only one installment of a very reasonable amount of rent, but already he’s heard their very lovely and understanding landlord grumbling about it in the corridor. And more than that – a new Amazon order arrives at his door every day, he’s been wearing a different suit every time they’ve come face to face, he once walked past the man’s open door to see him _dancing in a shower of money_.

_And_ he seems to have no concept of _green energy_.

Less than none. Less than _none_ , which shouldn’t even be possible! He tried to start a conversation on the virtues of mulching, as he’s made a habit of doing with all of his neighbours, and the man _actually rolled his eyes_. And worse than that! He keeps his lights on _all the time_ , he _quite obviously_ leaves his heat on almost as often, he uses so much electricity that he _swears_ it’s starting to eat into his budget.

But worst of all, worst of _all_ …

Well, he’s just bringing the neighbourhood _down_.

Down. _So_ far down, from the cool height of sophistication to the noisy lows of _hell_. There’s that floozy that hangs around with him all the time, the one with the annoying giggle and the habit of bending in disappointingly lascivious ways. And she’s not even the worst _one_! There are the thugs that bang on the walls with their meaty fists, the idiot youths who alternate between screaming and cackling in the most obnoxious of ways, the man in black who _only_ seems to appear at the most indecent hours of the night!

(“That last one isn’t so bad, father,” Talia had giggled the last time she visited, hanging out onto his fire escape with one hand on the metal and one hand clutching a pair of binoculars, “he’s quite _handsome_ , really.”)

It’s just not right.

It’s just not _proper_.

And he’s a tolerant man, he’s an open man, he’s a downright _lovely_ man – but now he’s had enough. He’s _done_ with this, with all of it, and he has a _plan_ to finish this entire ugly business before it ruins his life even more. And it’s a great plan, a wonderful plan, a downright _excellent_ plan (that only made Talia sigh a little)-

_Boom_.

“Oh, hel- _lo_ , Mr Ghul!”

…A plan that needs more axes, perhaps.

But that’s alright, because he’s getting there. That’s alright, because he’s getting there and he’s _ready_ \- sudden roommates or not.


End file.
